Many have researched the elusive pursuit of happiness. A couple of the more notable include Martin Seligman and Gretchen Rubin. Our consumer culture tells us we’ll be happy if we just buy more stuff and more exclusive tonics. Rinse and repeat.
It’s much simpler than that. You can find happiness by focusing on what makes you unhappy. You already know what makes you unhappy. By removing these things you’ll find yourself much happier in short order. It’s a subtractive process.
Before you think I’m a genius for the solution, I must share that this was one of the ‘oh duh’ moments that came from reading Nassim Taleb’s provocative book, Antifragile. He uses the concept of ‘via negativa’ versus ‘via positiva’ to solve our most perplexing problems.
Another key is to avoid toxic people. We know who these types are. Seek those having a positive outlook. Build friendships with those that are happy for your success rather than envious or competitive. It’s less work for you to remain positive and happy when you can be yourself. Immersed in negativity, it’s easy to get sucked in.
At work it’s a little harder. Sometimes we have to interact with toxic colleagues. Especially in workplaces where there’s an absence of the No Asshole Rule. In these cases, you can try to limit exposure and go in ‘feet first’ as one person does in her work place. This refers to being ejected from your kayak in the rapids where you want to stay feet first to avoid bonking your head on the rocks.
Most of us have too much complexity in our lives. And too much stuff. Simplifying through subtraction is relatively easy to do. Finding happiness by focusing on unhappiness is a small piece of Antifragile. It’s one of those books that changes your worldview.